you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
