Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
