U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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