Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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