my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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