I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
