oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
