id be glad to
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
