Can i not drive my cunt home
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think i got beer on your cat.
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