Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
