Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
