Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize