highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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