if you like me you must not know who I am
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
