i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
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You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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