spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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