Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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