She's like a pop up book from hell.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
