Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
