guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
