Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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