Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize