he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
