i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
