and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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