woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
