He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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