Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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