i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
