I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
