the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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