omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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