I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
