thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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