That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
