Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
