So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize