I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
