After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
