I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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