I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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