he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the day after is always just damage control
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize