I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
