I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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