If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
