yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
