my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
