Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
