get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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