I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
