My friends, they love my intelligence
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize