he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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