Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
