Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
