he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize