Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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