I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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