every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
