Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
