a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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